skeletons under the floorboards

Sometimes I think it would be pretty cool to be murdered and then buried under the floorboards of a house and just see everyone live their lives on top of you. You wouldn’t have to be worried like they are because you would know everything they are thinking is arbitrary.

listen to this song (to the end for full effect it gets really cool at the end I promise):

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PROCRASTINATION AND A MOVIE

SCHOOL STARTS IN 1 1/2 DAYS AND I HAVEN’T FINISHED MOST OF MY HOMEWORK SO OBVIOUSLY I RESOLVE THIS ISSUE WITH WATCHING A MOVIE

I watched this German movie called Lore because it had a 93% on Rotten Tomatoes. It is described like this ‘Left to fend for themselves after their SS officer father and mother, a staunch Nazi believer, are interred by the victorious Allies at the end of World War II, five German children undertake a harrowing journey that exposes them to the reality and consequences of their parents’ actions. Led by the eldest sibling, 14-year old Lore (striking newcomer Saskia Rosendahl), they set out on a harrowing journey across a devastated country to reach their grandmother in the north. After meeting thecharismatic Thomas, a mysterious young refugee, Lore soon finds her world shattered by feelings of both hatred and desire as she must learn to trust the one person she has always been taught to hate in order to survive. Lush cinematography and an evocative, haunting mood infuse this unconventional take on the Holocaust legacy with unforgettable impact. (c) Music Box’ So I thought it would be  a nice art house movie about German kids on the road and a German girl falling in love with a cute Jewish boy (◕‿◕✿) BUT NO it’s SAD FULL OF SADNESS AND DEATH AND VIOLENCE AND RAPE OH GOD this poor girl had to see death and take care of a tiny baby and younger sister and twin brothers that were like 5 and live in the wilderness and go through so much shit and what’s most horrible is that it’s really believable and nazi kids after the war were left alone I REALLY HOPE I WILL NEVER EXPERIENCE WAR IN MY LIFETIME because how on earth would I travel across Germany with my 3 younger siblings?? We can’t even get through dinner or a car ride without fighting!! oh and the actress who played the girl was really good! This movie was so good so good but really really sad.

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CURRENT OBSESSIONS

 

not that anyone really cares~ this is just for future reference because I get obsessed with things then forget them AND THAT’S SAD 

1) Rogers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella 

a) THE 1997 VERSION I only JUST discovered 

ImageWhitney Houston! Bernadette Peters! Whoopi Goldberg! Racial diversity! (Cinderella is black and the Prince is Filipino) AND it contains magical lines like this:

Cinderella: I doubt he has any idea how a girl should be treated 

Prince: Like a princess, I suppose

Cinderella: No, like a person with kindness and respect.

OHHHHHH 

b) The current Broadway one!

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THEIR TONY PERFORMANCE omgggg it is so amazing THE COSTUME CHANGES I CAN’T EVEN FIGURE OUT HOW IT WORKS THEY PULL SOMETHING AND WHOOSH PRINCESS BALLGOWN HOW DID THEY EVEN GET THE TIARA ON HER HEAD OMG crying i just want to cry can everyone wear dresses like this all the time it looks so fun her dress at the end is perfect now i understand why people have cinderella themed wedding because THIS also I just spent an hour alone in my room attempting to sing all the songs like laura osnes

THIS RANDOM PERFORMANCE THEY DID IN A PARK omggg because Santino Fontana and Laura Osnes have amazing chemistry and they are so cute singing in a park and eating pretzels crying they are so adorable <3<3<3

I LIKE GLASS SHOES AND I CANNOT LIE oh my god gabby look at the shoes! oh lady why are you lookin so tragic? your shoes are magic! my godmother tried to warn me but first she did adorn me! AND SANTINO FONTANA WROTE IT and LAURA OSNES WAS CREDITED AS ASSOCIATE TO ALL

2) 100 YEARS / STYLE / EAST LONDON  (I don’t know how to put videos into this thingy)

YES I KNOW I’m late to the party but ALL THE COSTUMES! THE DANCING! SEAMLESS TRANSITIONS! COSTUMES! watched like 1000000 times i want to play dress up with all the costumes

3) Mean Gurlz by Todrick Hall MEAN GIRLS BUT SET IN COMPTON OMG the plastics are THE BLACK BARBIES I just.. I just.. this is perfection

I’m lazy to type already bye

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WOW YES

YES I’m making this post so I don’t forget 
MY MOTHER IS THE BEST whaaat
FIRST she made dinner and it was GREAT
THEN she wanted to go see the piece I directed for theatre even though I only directed it and it wasn’t a really big deal
THEN she put my picture in her wallet!!

WHAT I can’t believe it I feel so honoured and loved wow

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as most of my closer friends know, i have a deep, dark, shameful secret. i am indeed, a mermaid. many of you may have heard of this impostor merman: vulgar link and his obsession with becoming one of us. he makes his own tails, and now is a tailor. for mermaid tails. blasphemy!!! my merfriends and I take great offence, and have decided to come out of the cavern to the world.

real mermaids have real tails. we are born with them and they have real scales NOT SEWED ON SCALES and we can change them into legs whenever we want. that ariel girl was making up stories to get that prince to love her. everyone knows prince eric was mine. quit macking on my man, ariel. quit. go away. also poor ursula, she was a harmless octopus that ariel threw under the bus. then she was all like hans christian anderson!!! write me a story make me the centre of attention!!! special snowflake!!! luv me 5ever hahaha!!! then he was like fine, but i’ll kill ya. then disney was all like noooo poor bb come here we’ll make u love eric 5ever and guess what you have a demon child too hahaha <3333 NO

oh hahaha how embarrassing for me, i didn’t intend to start on that whole triainwreck. haha. WHOOPS. hahaha. prince eric, i’m still available. won’t hold a grudge. haha.  anyway, i normally live with legs, in human form, with my secret human family (parents still think i’m theirs lol eww) for purposes of convenience. the fishing business is getting crayyyy up in there. here and this poor bb and all the evil under the sea. hurting all my friends. except for crabs. guilty pleasure, they taste good.

anyway REAL MERMAIDS FTWWWWWW go away fake merman blasphemy blasphemy

*swim away*

*i have silver in swimming btw*

*not bad*

this is me btw yes i am white in the water  yes i was with that hot jesus guy who’s gonna be finnick odair hahaha then made him a merman hahaha that’s him down there ODAIR HE IS haha my original joke

Mermaidimgres

i’m a mermaid

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Castes (?)

The only reason I thought about this again was my friend bringing it up during lunch a few days ago. She seemed to be under the impression that castes were a big deal, and being in a higher caste meant you had more money. Those are common misconceptions and I’ll explain why, and elaborate on castes. The only reason I know what I know about castes are (1) I’m Indian and (2) I researched them for about 5 minutes on the internet, so please excuse me if I make any wrong statements about them.

I’m very disconnected from my Indian heritage (I only found out I’m North Indian two weeks ago!) but I do know that my father’s side of the family comes from Gujarat, a place in Northern India where people are very business-oriented (my mother always calls him a cheap Gujarati). They were Jain, a religion that is like a combination of Buddhism and Hinduism, therefore did not practise the caste system. My mother’s side of the family however, come from an unknown (???) village in Northern India (why don’t I know??? why does nobody answer my questions???) where they did practise the caste system, and they were in the ‘Brahmin’ caste, the highest caste. (Side note: I was researching this and I found out that some Indian ‘sages’ were considered ‘avatars’ of gods! Like Avatar! But he wasn’t a god! But still so cool!) I only found that out two years ago, because we discussed this in ARC and I was curious and asked my mother.

I’m really not proud of it. It means my ancestors conned everyone into believing they were better than them and that they probably mistreated some people… A lot. A lottttt. But anyway, they were not at all rich! They were from a poor village, and my grandfather would steal mangoes to pay for his (little) education. He came to Singapore secretly stowed away on a cargo ship, and he became a taxi driver. Of course, they were richer than the people of lower castes in the village, but compared to people in first world countries, very, very poor! And nobody cares about castes now! Maybe some people in India do, but not in the (few) developed parts. And definitely not in Singapore! Not that I know of! But I don’t know anything! Why did I write this!

I googled ‘Indian’ and this was the first result:

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byeeeeeeeee

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I can’t live here

If you don’t like opinions, scroll down for baby animals and Ryan Gosling! 

I should be doing so many things right now (i.e. cleaning up the 1m tall stack of papers on my desk, study for the two tests I have this week and completing my lit essay that’s due this friday) but I feel that I need to write about this like now, or I’ll never do it. So lately ( for about um 3 years?) I’ve been feeling suffocated living in Singapore. I mean, really physically. Well, perhaps not really to the extent of not being able to breathe, but I physically feel like that you know? (And I’m not talking about the air quality index) And I’m not even going to begin on the government, but I want to write about Singaporean society. Of course, most of my friends and family are cool (well not cool cool but okay cool you know), but the condemnatory and judgemental society here in Singapore just disgusts and horrifies me and I really cannot cannot cannot stay here anymore.

Firstly, Singaporean society is SO homophobic. I’m aware that lots of Singaporeans aren’t homophobic and lots of them are gay but what scares me is the HUGE amount of people in Singapore that are so casually homophobic. Usually I’m unaware of this because I’m on the internet all the time and my school is mostly full of rather accepting people, but once in a while I’ll hear a classmate or my tuition teacher or a relative or some random internet person say something HORRIFYINGLY hateful. The worst things are when people say gay people ‘disgust’ them. It just confuses and saddens me. The other day, some of my friends from school were discussing how a gay person was ‘gross’ and yesterday, my tuition teacher launched off into a tirade about how he was so disgusted by a gay couple in a table next to him at a fast food restaurant, he had to change seats. Perhaps these people feel this way towards homosexuals because of their religion, but even if you feel it’s wrong, how is it disgusting? I just cannot wrap my head around how this is repellent to anybody. It’s not like gay people are always making out in front of you, or forcing you to join them. They’re just in love with people who happen to be of the same gender.  Okay, I’m sure I’ll regret talking about religion, but I will anyway. God tells you that it is wrong to be gay, and you accept that and somehow choose not to be. But he also tells you to love your neighbour, and shunning people and calling them disgusting is not loving them. Jesus never shunned people for their sins, he sacrificed himself for them because he loved them. And I doubt he called them disgusting. I mean, at least he wasn’t nasty to them. I think judgement should be made only by God, but if you really felt that you had to tell someone who they are is a sin, couldn’t you do it nicely with some baked goods or have a nice chat with them instead of declaring them to be disgusting? And how sad is it that people have so much hate for someone’s love? I can’t bear being someplace where this is so widespread, and I’M NOT EVEN GAY. Imagine how gay people feel here.

I also hate how judgemental Singaporeans are towards people who are not married. Last year, while researching Singapore’s declining birth rates  for a presentation in class, I found out that the Singaporean government only award ‘baby bonuses’ to children born in wedlock. This just doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t understand why marriage is important out of a religious context and this being a secular state, the government shouldn’t govern our morals. It’s not just morals. Is a child born out of wedlock less important or deserving than a child born in it? It’s not like giving this money to children out of wedlock would encourage people to raise children irresponsibly, the money can only be spent on the child’s education. This policy doesn’t support single parents as well. Any parent would want the best from their child, and any single parent keeping their child, any single person raising a child on their own, and any couple keeping a child they had out of wedlock or choosing to have one out of wedlock would surely have the child’s best interests in mind, and being Singaporean citizens, I think the government’s job is to support these people and their children. And oh yeah, the government gives priority to married couples with children for HDB flats. I’m aware that I’m talking about the government here, and not society. But the government’s views reflect that of majority of Singaporean society: Stagnant, archaic and oppressive. If many Singaporeans felt wronged by this, they could easily share their views with the government or work to change things. Some have, protesting or talking about changing laws, but I’m pretty sure most Singaporeans would hesitate because they would not risk their reputations and go out and do that, but would rather ‘save face’ and return home and be content complaining about the government without making actual change, which brings me to my next point, about how Singapore’s society values money and reputation above all else.

This can be seen firstly from how, at a young age, children are forced to undertake a major examination that will organise them based on their results and determine their fate and quality of education for the next four years. The PSLE has so many wrong things with it, and instead of declaring it abhorrent and not at all beneficial to kids, Singaporean parents respond by placing their 12 year olds under a tremendous amount of stress to succeed on one exam. Granted, the government has been *attempting* to make it less stressful and not revealing top scorers. But nobody is looking at the main issues under this: The ‘kiasu’ attitude  our society has towards academics and what we’re teaching kids about what’s important in life.

I’m sure there are many more reasons why I cannot stay here but It’s 11 on a Sunday night and I have to be up early for school tomorrow. I would like to end by saying that I love Singapore. When I think of Singapore, I think of Katong and all the beautiful shophouses and eating food (kueh kueh kueh) and celebrating every culture. But I also think of how people are hostile and mean and judgemental and that suffocating feeling comes back and I think of how I need to be somewhere else and I can’t not be somewhere else and perhaps I should embrace a little of that kiasu-ness right now, get off my ass and study so I can go someplace better. Maybe things are changing, and in a few years time I’ll turn around and be like, ‘Hey! All these problems are gone! That’s great!’ but looking at our society right now, I think a few years is probably a few decades and that makes me sad.

Okay, let’s think of some happy things! I went to see Joss Stone’s concert here two nights ago and her voice is amazing and she’s so sweet and pretty and funny and I had so much fun! Also, kittens and sloths and puppies are adorable! And animals don’t judge 🙂

Also, Ryan Gosling!

It was so hard to choose from the google image searches of kittens, puppies, sloths and Ryan Gosling, because all the pictures were perfect and beautiful.

OMG THIS NEXT PICTURE IS PERFECTION (except for the wild Evan Rachel Wood in between him and the sloth pls leave)

Okay, It’s really late now, goodnight!

vegetarian rant sorry im not sorry

so i am a vegetarian (most of the time 99.9999999% of the time) and i have been forever because my family was like that for religious reasons (my grandma was a jain which is like Hinduism and Buddhism crossed into a hippie ass mess but it’s not really hippie it’s full of old indian people but once i saw a hot guy with dreadlocks who was one) and i’m allowed to eat meat if i want to but i dont because 1) i’m not used to it and my tastebuds are like eww gross animals taste weird 2) it is so DISGUSTING and UNETHICAL 

lots of people hate on vegetarians and go like ‘plants have feelings too, you’re being so cruel herp derp hurrr’ but maybe that’s because they’ve had bad experiences with mean vegetarian people telling them they’re cruel or something or they just don’t understand why people do this or they’re just insecure assholes

but eating meat is literally the WORST thing people are doing. we go on about recycling paper to save the environment but that does SHIT. this is a quote from the PETA website (not that i’m advocating PETA or anything they’re kinda batshit cray cray ‘A recent United Nations report concluded that a global shift toward a vegan diet is necessary to combat the worst effects of climate change. And the U.N. is not alone in its analysis. Researchers at the University of Chicago concluded that switching from a standard American diet to a vegan diet is more effective in the fight against climate change than switching from a standard American car to a hybrid. And a German study conducted in 2008 concluded that a meat-eater’s diet is responsible for more than seven times as much greenhouse-gas emissions as a vegan’s diet is.’ factory farming is destroyingggg the environment but somehow not many people know that. factory farming is good because it makes meat cheap and affordable and people can afford it but WE WERE FINE WITHOUT FACTORY FARMING and we will be fine without it like maybe instead you could eat free range organic meat i know it sounds annoying and expensive but you’re not releasing tons of methane and wasting a shitload of water and not to mention ingesting growth hormones that are force fed to animals 😦

and animals feel pain ;( like go watch some crazy peta people’s videos they’ll make you cry look at piggies sob as people punch holes in their ears and lock them in enclosed spaces or a calf being separated from it’s mother as soon as it’s born so she can produce milk and get killed because it’s a boy and milk farms have no use for it. (this makes me feel really bad fo not being a vegan) people get enraged over horse meat scandals but how is eating a horse different from eating a cow? they both feel pain. oh and fish! fish feel pain too. it’s hard to relate to fish because they dont have lungs like us and they look weird and live in water but they feel lots of pain when hooks are stuck into their mouths. and when people use those giant nets to catch fish like in nemo, lots of animals get accidentally caught in it and dieeee, like dolphins. come on, dolphins are cute. 

it just doesn’t make sense to make more food to feed more food to feed you and harm everything. i’m not saying i’m a good person or better than you, i can understand not wanting to give up meat, i dont want to give up dairy or eggs, but do some googling and learn something about what you put in your mouths because it has a big impact on the world and your future and your kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures vand their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures vand their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures and their kids futures the end

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short-lived 90s teen shows with cult followings

so i watched the first episodes my so called life and freaks and geeks

my so-called life

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claire danes and jared leto were in this. it ran from life 94-95 and everything was really grungy and they had really cool clothes. basically 15 year old claire danes is this girl named angela who was really good and was in yearbook but then she starts hanging out with this bi guy and some other homeless girl and she dyes her hair red, quits yearbook, gets into fights with her mother, has a crush on jared leto (who was really cute),has this cute nerdy neighbour who looks like young joseph gordon levitt with an afro and goes to parties and drinks and almost gets arrested. this show makes you sympathise with everyone. from my description, claire danes sounds really annoying but i could understand her character’s frustrations and i could sympathise with her loser ex best friend and her parents, who have complicated stories as well. i would totally watch this. apparently it got cancelled because the network wasn’t sure about continuing it and claire danes didn’t want to return for a second season. so life sucks. my so-called life sucks. haha okay moving on

freaks and geeks

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so i’ve heard lots of awesome stuff about this show. it ran in like 2000 and there was marshall from himym! james franco! seth rogen! young sweets from bones! it was really good. it basically followed linda cardellini as lindsay (who has since faded into oblivion) who was a geek and young sweets was her little brother and a geek too and marshall, seth rogen and james franco were freaks who basically were just stoners and then lindsay became a ‘freak’. obviously it was much more than that it was funny and heartwarming and there was a special needs kid but i found him really hot. (obviously the actor doesn’t REALLY have special needs) THIS IS HIM NOW IT’S BEN FOSTER LOOK AT HIS FACE WOWImage

you’re welcome for his face

tv

I watch a lot of tv

the season premiere of community was interesting… this episode was really self aware (more so than usual). they tackled the topic of change. this could be seen as abed’s anxiety over the study group leaving greendale but it could symbolise the change happening on  the show. the show runner dan harmon is leaving and so is chevy chase. in the end, Jeff saved the day (he actually didn’t; he was about to make the ending speech to get abed out of his dream zone (i’ll explain that) but abed made it for him in his head) by explaining that things would change but so had the study group and change is scary and everyone is changing, etc… the show had it’s usual comical elements with abed going into his dream zone (abed tv) after Britta told him to go to his happy place to deal with his anxiety about change, but everyone on abed tv still graduating and abed tv abed going into his dream zone which was like baby greendale or something, where everyone was a baby looney-toones style version of themselves and Leonard and the dean cross dressing (he was the hunger games lady and did the tango with Jeff and had muscular guys with unicorn horns pull him in a carriage and moved into the apartment next to Jeff), Annie and Shirley doing a senior prank and Annie worrying about everything and Britta and Troy (their relationship happened so fast!) making wishes in a fountain and the episode ended with a SURPRISE CHANG shirtless (wait no lol i think he was naked but we didn’t see too much) and giving a mailman this Image (hangover deja vu)
(because remember the last season ended with him losing control of greendale and his army of 12 year olds). I really loved seeing everyone back again, but this episode really seemed like it was just re-establishing everything. that’s great, but i want to see the greendale of seasons before. less meta bullshit and references to the real world. i really hope this was a one-off things and community gets over it and we go back to paintball wars, troy and abed in the morning and the dean popping in with elaborate costumes (DEAN-DONG!) 
i dont feel like talking about anything else. now i’ll watch my so called life, this short lived grungy mid 90s tv show with claire danes and jared leto. hopefully it won’t be a complete disappointment. maybe next i’ll talk about firefly (SPACE COWBOYS and YOUNG NATHAN FILLION *dies*
also i hate big bang theory now they have become so dumb and annoying the characters are they’re own stereotypes
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